{"id":2217,"date":"2022-02-01T05:47:04","date_gmt":"2022-02-01T05:47:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sp2hari.com\/?p=2217"},"modified":"2022-02-01T05:47:05","modified_gmt":"2022-02-01T05:47:05","slug":"three-trust-principles","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sp2hari.com\/index.php\/2022\/02\/01\/three-trust-principles\/","title":{"rendered":"Three Trust Principles"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I was listening to this podcast from Farnam Street (https:\/\/fs.blog\/knowledge-podcast\/best-of-2021\/<\/a>), mostly because I thought it is a shortcut to read all the good podcasts from 2021. Little did I know I’ll learn so much about trusting people and the right framework on when to trust people and when not to. These are three excerpts from the entire podcast which I believe changed the way how I look at trust. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Kat Cole on pragmatic optimism<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shane:<\/strong> You also believe in people. And I thought that this was interesting, when you called yourself a positive, no it was an optimistic, what was the term you used?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kat:<\/strong> I\u2019ve used a few terms, but either a pragmatic optimist, or an optimistic pragmatist, or a practical optimist, any of those things that don\u2019t seem to belong together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shane:<\/strong> I thought that was really interesting because I also by default, believe in people and sometimes it comes with a cost and you called it a tax earlier. I\u2019m wondering if you can expand on that a little bit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kat:<\/strong> Yeah. I really do believe humans are mostly magic and that we are all just unfinished magic, and we\u2019re more likely to be the fullest extent of our magic if other people see us that way first. And I\u2019ve certainly learned that when I see people for their potential and their possibilities, that they seem to live up to that more quickly than when they interact with others. And I have felt that benefit of being looked at as my potential and felt the need and the ability and desire to grow into that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the upside of believing in people is so high and, not but, and some will let us down. And the frequency that I\u2019m let down is so low compared to the frequency that I\u2019m proven right in people\u2019s potential. And so it just feels like this tax, it\u2019s like a single digit percentage tax that is a small price to pay for getting all the upside that comes from looking at people as the great things that they are and the possibilities that they have in front of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Jim Collins on relationships not transactions<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bill = Bill Azir, mentor of Jim Collins, I = Jim Collins<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I asked Bill, \u201cHave you ever had your trust abused?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

He said, \u201cOh yeah, of course. I\u2019ve had my trust abused. It\u2019s just part of life.\u201d But then he gave me this, this is one of this great mentor moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He said, \u201cJim, this is one of now that you\u2019re starting to have this experience and really experience it, you need to decide what is your opening bid when you are establishing a relationship with someone, when you\u2019re interacting with the world, is your opening bid to assume trust, to assume that someone is trustworthy and to grant them the full benefits of that? That\u2019s your opening bid. That trust can be lost, but the bid is trust. Or is your opening bid to not trust, but the trust can be earned? So many aspects of your life will be affected
by which fork on that you take. That\u2019s a stance on life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I said, \u201cWell, it seems to me, Bill, you\u2019ve chosen the trust bid as the opening bid.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

He said, \u201cYes, I have.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I said, \u201cBut Bill, brutal facts, not everyone is trustworthy. And the brutal fact is some people will abuse that trust. So have people abused your trust?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

He said, \u201cOf course they have.\u201d He went on and he described a situation of somebody who was quite close to him who had abused his trust. It had cost him enough that he said it hurt, not just emotionally, but financially as well. Then there\u2019s this little kind of cul-de-sac on the whole thing that Bill has, which is the notion of you don\u2019t leave yourself exposed to a catastrophe in such a way that if you trust your, let\u2019s say your CFO and you never look at the books and then you discover one day that you had a problem and your company is bankrupt, you always pay attention to the cashflow. You always watch the numbers. You always keep an eye on things. It\u2019s not like you become disconnected from reality, but he said, \u201cBut I never left myself open to catastrophe. Beyond that, yeah, that one hurt.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I said, \u201cWell, did it change your approach to trusting people?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

He said, \u201cNo, it\u2019s just part of the cost of living.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then he went on and he described it as upside and downside. This is sort of gets into the, it just simply hardheaded. This was a hardheaded view. He said, \u201cI\u2019ve come to the conclusion when I think across the iterative relationships and interactions and aspects of life, that there is far more upside in an opening bid of trust. And there is far more downside in an opening bid of mistrust. It all goes to the question of people. If you really basically want to have your life, whether that be people in your company, whether that people in your life, whether they be your friends, whether they\u2019re people you rock climb with, whatever it is, the very, very best people will respond to the bid of trust. The best people will be attracted to that and you want the best people to be attracted.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The second is, he said, \u201cHave you ever considered the possibility, Jim, that your opening bid affects how people behave? If you trust people, you\u2019re more likely that they will act in a trustworthy way. It\u2019s a double win. It\u2019s the best people and they\u2019ll behave in a trustworthy way. The flip side is if you have an opening bit of mistrust, the best people will not be attracted to that. If you have this opening sense of you have to earn my trust. Now you may have to earn my trust, how good you are at something, or earn my respect for your performance or that sort of thing. But if I basically like, I don\u2019t trust you, you have to earn it, well, some of the best people are going to be like, \u2018I don\u2019t need to put up with that. I\u2019ll go
do something else.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Shane Parish on trust battery<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shane:<\/strong> I think that\u2019s a really interesting way to approach it. I definitely agree with that personally. My friend Toby has this concept that I think might help people. It\u2019s very visual. It\u2019s called the trust battery. You can do things that increase your trust or decrease your trust. But if you start that trust battery at say the 75th percentile, then you\u2019re starting from a different place than if it\u2019s the fifth, your 5%, your trust battery is full. It\u2019s been my experience that the benefits of reciprocal trust and the speed and not living with your guard up all the time is more than worth letting yourself occasionally get screwed. Another friend of mine had this really good concept about when to forgive and when to sort of like \u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

He said, \u201cAs long as it\u2019s not malicious, just always forgive”.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I was listening to this podcast from Farnam Street (https:\/\/fs.blog\/knowledge-podcast\/best-of-2021\/), mostly because I thought it is a shortcut to read all the good podcasts from 2021. Little did I know I’ll learn so much about trusting people and the right framework on when to trust people and when not to. …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2217","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","category-random"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sp2hari.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2217","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sp2hari.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sp2hari.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sp2hari.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sp2hari.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2217"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/sp2hari.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2217\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2224,"href":"https:\/\/sp2hari.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2217\/revisions\/2224"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sp2hari.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2217"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sp2hari.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2217"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sp2hari.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2217"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}